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Democrats To Send Cuomo In For Schumer After NY Senator Repeatedly Fumbles Political Football
Truth In Satire
Weak performance by Blue Team captain, along with his chronic inability to score points against Repugnicans, prompts late substitution
The DNC front office announced on Wednesday that Andrew Cuomo would be sent in for a confused and possibly concussed Chuck Schumer.
“We’re sending Cuomo in,” said a DNC manager. “We know it’s the fourth quarter but we think Cuomo can give us an advantage and late surge.”
The last minute substitution was not unexpected as Schumer has repeatedly failed to score points for Democrats against the cagier Repugnicans. Fans of the Blue Team were also growing restless with the fading senator’s chronically weak performance in Washington and were pushing for a replacement.
The stalwart Cuomo has been notching gains since the beginning of the pandemic, delivering satisfying body blows to the Repugnican’s well-upholstered captain, Don “The Great White Dope” Trump, who is known to play dirty. The Dope’s recent attempts to advance into Cuomo’s territory, sometimes called the “Anarchist Jurisdiction,” has been met with a firm defense by the governor.
It is not known whether Cuomo will be able to take the political football into the end zone for the Blue Team before the November elections, but Las Vegas betting windows have him as a 2–1 favorite to trounce Trump’s faltering offensive.
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