1. Time

Those are great questions, Richard.

In regards to my discontent about working to achieve someone else’s goals, there are 2 main factors:

Time is our greatest resource and I was trading most of mine in pursuit of something I did not necessarily believe in. While I think community and collaboration are important, they should not come at the cost of our own goals.

I was spending 40+ hours a week at the office with an hour commute each way. By the time I made it home each night I was too exhausted to do much other than eat and sleep. All of my mental and creative energy was spent during the day. I was living for the weekend, trading my time for social influence and the money to buy things that I did not need.

To succeed in my work environments, I often had to suppress my opinions and alter my dress and behavior. One of the supervisors I worked for required all of the women to wear heels and makeup every day, which conflicted with my gender identity. They also fostered a culture of gossip, blame, and general terror.

Later, I worked at a startup that glorified “hustle”. Working long hours without pause and churning out projects as quickly as possible was the ideal, heedless of the effect this has on body and mind. And, once again, there was a strong culture of gossip and backstabbing. I was surrounded by people whose core values conflicted with mine.

—

Oh, Sartre. Existentialism is how I got my start with philosophy.

In Stoicism, the idea of being condemned to be free and the tendency towards avoiding that truth factor in a great deal, though it is not always addressed head-on. Freedom is also considered less a burden and more of an ideal to strive towards.

The general idea is that we were made to live in accordance with nature and that the only thing that we have control over is our minds. Most people do not want to acknowledge this, as it would mean taking responsibility for their actions and admitting that they create their own misery. Once you are able to draw contentment from what is in your control, rather than things outside of yourself, you become free.

The main “burden” involved with this freedom is that it is often easier to deflect and blame others for our mistakes and misfortunes. The kind of self-examination needed to free yourself from striving for that which is beyond your control takes effort. You must continue to learn and work at it every day. Not thinking about or acknowledging the part you play takes less energy and time, even if it leads to unhappiness and a wasted life. Many would rather pursue instant gratification, only realizing what they have sacrificed once death draws near.

Here are some quotes that touch on these concepts:

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